Day #9217 - The More Things Change

It has been a very long time since I've been this bad at posting here, but better late than never, right?

And so, a recap. The past few months have been incredibly busy. The school year started back up and right away I was up to my eyeballs in all of the library things, plus my new official role as assistant director of the school's drama club who put together a comedy just in time for Halloween.

Of course I didn't actually get to see either of the performances of the show for an audience, but with good reason! After a very long engagement, Brother got married that weekend, so I now have a sister in law and brought my bouquet catching record for the year up to 3 out of 5 weddings.

And really, that's just the tip of the iceberg. So far, being 25 has been all about changes. But the more things change, the more they stay the same. My family is growing, but that just means they matter to me that much more. My job has brought more new people into my life as well, and for that I'm grateful.

But the thing that has the most to do with me, the change that is most predictable considering my life is this: I'm writing again. And I mean that in the long story sense. Yes, my critique partner Sarah and I have been writing short stories for our blog Stories by SaM so it's not like I've been completely dormant, but my success with long stories hasn't been so great. I grew very thick skin when I queried my first novel and part of me is still really disappointed that I wasn't able to find an agent for it. I wasn't expecting to need so much time to bounce back, but I was terrified of facing the page again. If that idea sucked, then how would I know if my others are any good?

Eventually, I got over that fear. Or more like I got used to it. This summer, I jumped back in with a science fiction story unlike anything I'd ever done before. And after 100 pages, I had to stop. I still believe in the story, but I'm not the writer I need to be to give that story what it needs yet.

So it was back to the drawing board. Again. Not a fun place to be, but the great thing about finally finding a critique partner who understands how my brain works meant I wasn't alone. Her feedback on my short stories has been helpful, and it was actually the thing that got me into a new project. Code name: Red Novel. I've made it a hashtag and everything. Not going to lie, it's going slowly. It's a little bit painful. But it's different, I'm excited, and I'm taking my time. Simply put, I'm trying because sometimes, I think Yoda got it wrong. Sometimes, all there is is try.

And that, dear readers, is where I'm at.