Day #9040 - RIP Eckert

A few weeks ago, I threw a funeral for my Halloween pumpkin, Eckert. Literally threw.

Day #8535 - My Other Life

Sometimes, being a writer makes me feel like I have multiple personalities or like I'm leading a double life, except that both of my lives are perfectly aware of the other, yet they still fight for my time and attention.

My days are like this: I wake up, go to work, come home, grad school it up, read, blog, write, sleep, repeat. By day, I'm a library teaching assistant, an "adult" in the eyes of the high school students I work with as I help them find books, figure out how to print things, and remind them that it's a library and not a gym. I love working with this age group and I really enjoy the amazing feeling that comes with talking to a teen about the amazing book they just read and seeing their eyes light up when they find something new on the shelves to enjoy.

Then when I come home, I'm the student as I'm about to enter my final semester of graduate school before completing my M.S. in library and information science this May. I have homework of my own. I also have a mile high stack of books I want to read for fun, the blogs I enjoy reading to find out what else is out there and what fellow bibliophiles like me are up to, and then, last but far from least, is my own writing.

I'll admit, Summer Novel (code name as such because I wrote it last summer) is in pretty good shape. I'm afraid of reopening November Novel for the time being, but I do have this brand new, shiny, fabulous idea that's been floating around in my head ever since last fall that I'm itching to start working out. Plus, on top of all of that, I really want to start making something happen with Summer Novel and putting it out into the world, even if it means the plethora of rejection letters that the blogs of published authors have warned me will probably come (but they warn me in the nicest possible way!) The only problem with this fabulous plan is that there aren't always are never enough hours in a day.

Long story short, it comes down to prioritizing and choices. I'm lucky that I've become pretty good at juggling these various personas, and I just remind myself that all of them are vitally important to making me, me. Grad school will end in May. I have nights and weekends. And even if nothing happens with Summer Novel or any of my other stories, it's okay. Despite the fact that I think it would be awesome, wanting to be published isn't the reason I write, nor should it be. I write because it's something I simply need to do, there's no other way to put it.

So to my peers out there, remember, whether or not we have an agent or a contract, we still ARE writers. I have to believe that if it's meant to be, with a lot of hard work and a whole lot of luck, our time will come.

Day #8026 - When the Universe Speaks

Let me tell you, readers, I've always been a bit on the fence when comes to the idea of believing in "signs." I mean, I'm a fairly religious and spiritual person, but the idea that the universe or God is trying to show me signs about my life has always been a difficult for me, usually because they're so subtle that I probably miss most of them.

However, sometimes (like right now), the universe will choose to speak quite clearly. Last night, on my way home from being out, I stopped by the house of someone I was friends with in high school because he's in town for the weekend. Now, this person and I have had a fairly blundersome relationship to say the least - a lot of headaches were involved and hurt feelings especially back in high school, but ever since going our separate ways to different colleges and states, it's been different. We rarely talk, except for once or twice a year when we're in the same state at the same time. It's always been difficult for me to let this friendship go because it used to not be so ridiculous, but at the same time I always know that I'm better off without this part of my life dragging on. This knowledge doesn't make the choice I have to continually make any easier, though.

That is, until now. Like I said, I was on my way home when I stopped by this person's house and we got to talking. It was a nice talk and everything (we mainly discussed sports, a safe topic) and then when it was time to go, I saw that the universe had spoken VERY CLEARLY - someone had egged my car. ROTTEN EGGS THROWN AT MY CAR!! Not good. I told my family about it, washed my car this morning, and am incredibly pissed that the egg shell actually chipped the paint on one of my doors. Anyway, I firmly believe that this was probably the work of some drunk teenagers, but also the universe telling me, "STOP! When will you realize, Monica, that you need to let this go!?!" Well, I have gotten the message loud and clear and have the marks on my car to prove it. Time to make peace with this and move on. As if that alone weren't enough of a sign, I got a facebook message from another acquaintance I haven't heard from in a long time and I was so glad to. Time to move forward :o).

And when in doubt, egging someone's car is NEVER a good idea.

Day #7363 - A Change in the Air

The weather here finally feels like fall. Especially in the past week, it's been all over the place ranging from the 40s to the 80s. Today was nice because it was in the mid to low 60s - threw on a long sleeve shirt and a baseball hat with my jeans and I was good to go. One thing that I kind of hate is that there's not time in my schedule right now for me to sit out and enjoy it. I would love nothing more than to just sit out on the quad with a book and my ipod and read in the afternoon. Unfortunately, the soonest I could do that is Wednesday afternoon and even then, not for very long due to meetings and whatnot. But when I finally get to, it'll be sweet.

In life outside of the classroom, things are okay. There are things especially in the social realm that I wish I had more control over, but since I don't, I'm just accepting it and counting my blessings. As the saying goes, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to accept the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." But I'm confident that things will eventually turn around - it's just got to be a matter of time, right? In the meantime, duty to my homework calls...