Day #8530 - Reading and Writing Resolutions

It all comes down to this day. Literally. Every year, full of highs and lows, smiles and tears, without fail comes back to December 31st. Some people love this day, or more specifically, this night. New Year's Eve with it's promise of something new and fresh in the middle of a long winter.

If I'm honest, I've never been huge into the NYE hype. My birthday is at the end August, usually coinciding with the first day of school, so that's always been my personal time for new beginnings and a clean slate.

But this year, I find that the buzz about resolutions and goals for 2012 hits me in a way that it normally doesn't. So, in no particular order, these are my reading and writing resolutions for the next 12 months:

• Read at least 50 novels in the next year and make a more conscious effort to read outside my comfort zone (aka more 'boy books,' sci-fi, mystery, non-YA, etc.)
• Make something happen with Summer Novel - keep reworking, start querying, anything - I'm ready to start sharing this thing with the world. Even if nothing ends up coming of it and I get rejections from every agent ever, that's okay. At least I'll be able to say I tried.
• Keep writing! While the crazy pace of NaNoWriMo just about made me want to throw my computer against the wall and never write ever again, I know that a part of my soul would die if I actually gave it up. My goal is to continue writing in my journal every day, blogging here and at The Fuma Files, and working on my own stories.
• Finish grad school! I am six beautiful credit hours away from being done with my M.S. in Library and Information Science and words cannot express how excited I am about that. Library school is one of the best things to ever happen to me because a) it's the reason I have a job right now, b) it's what re-introduced YA lit to me in a way that I love so much that I've started to write it myself and c) my classmates and professors have been awesome about challenging me to read and write critically.
• Don't loose sight of the reason I fell in love with all of this in the first place.

It's been a long and interesting 365 days to be sure. A lot has happened, some of it planned and a lot of it not so much. I could rant and rave about the unpleasantries, but I really don't see a point in doing that. I finished my first full year of grad school. I grew my hair out the longest it's been in 10 years and donated it to charity. I got a "grown up" job working in a high school library, leading to other grown up things like learning about insurance. According to Goodreads, I read 43 books (but I know the number is higher than that). I started and completed two first drafts of novels. I came back to this blog and started another one, too. 

And, bonus!, someone else told me last night that I look like Anne Hathaway - I've officially lost track of how often I've heard that this year. I still don't see it, but I'll happily take the compliment.

It would be easy to focus on the fact that on the surface, my year isn't ending so great (I have a cold and a zit), but that couldn't be further from the truth. 2011 had it's ups and downs, but overall it was a good year to me.

May all of you celebrate safely and find much happiness and blessings in 2012. I have a hunch it's going to be a good one.

Day #8069 - Book Binge

For those of you out there who once upon a time may have been English majors, the term "word vomit" is probably not something new. For those of you who weren't, allow me to elaborate. Word vomit is more or less just writing whatever is in your head on a topic, whatever random ideas whether they work together or not. This is a common occurrence among writers pulling an all-nighter, realizing that the paper assigned a few weeks ago is due in a few hours. For others this could just be a natural part of their writing process, wanting to get all their ideas down first, then moving them around and making more sense of them later via editing.

However, this weekend I've been experiencing what could best be described as a book binge - rather than writing everything down as fast as I can and hardly allowing time for anything to process, I've been having to read so quickly that there hasn't been much time to enjoy it and only taking enough time where the stories can sink in for when I need to discuss them in class this coming week. For my children's lit class, I've read three out of the four assigned novels for the week in the last few days. Two alone I read yesterday, one of which was a Newberry Honor winner and I had to sprint through it in a matter of hours. I'm about to jump into my fourth novel of the weekend, but knowing I need to metaphorically inhale it by Wednesday afternoon on top of the other homework and projects that need my attention, it just feels wrong. These authors probably spent months or maybe even years writing these books, and I'm only taking a few hours with each one before needing to move on.

I guess this is all a roundabout way of commenting on time-management, though that honestly isn't what I was going for. I make to-do lists every day and consider myself to have very strong time-management skills. Yet there are always days like today when it feels like there's still more to be done than I'll ever have time for. So yes, sometimes sprinting through tasks is a necessary evil, but we should all do the best we can to recognize that pausing is sometimes just as necessary. You don't always have to stop and smell the roses, and if there's just not enough time to stop, at least take a moment to think about how remarkable the things we take for granted actually are.

Day #8056 - I am a Transparent Eyeball

It was Ralph Waldo Emerson who once wrote, "I become a transparent eyeball-I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me-I am part or particle of God." Sure he was one of the fathers of Transcendentalism and was completely consumed by the majesty of nature, but even in my suburban environment I still get what he's saying. Of course there are less trees here, but I like to believe I catch his drift.

However, today as I was sitting here trying to decide what topic to blog about for you, my few but faithful and generally silent readership, I felt like a transparent eyeball. My mind was going a mile a minute in about 50 different directions, none of which were what I wanted to be focusing on (which was trying to pic a topic). My day planner, the articles I have to read, the paper I have to finish, the children's books that I just picked up from the library to read for my class next week, my back still not feeling the way it's supposed to, the pile of laundry growing on my floor - in the course of the glance around my bedroom, I felt like I was about to fall over due to the rush of "currents of the Universal Being" coming at me. Sure, stopping to smell the roses is a necessity in life, but at the same time, when is there time to get to just focus on one thing at a time?

Priorities come into consideration and so I turn to my daily to-do list for guidance. In the meantime, I should probably get to work, but not before playing with Addy who finally resembles a dog again now that she got a haircut. Enjoy the little things, but then recall Sanka from the classic film Cool Runnings: "You know what my grandfather told me? 'Get back to work!'"

Keep it classy, readers.

Day #8048 - Labor of Love

Hey readers, sorry for the gap-ige between posts. Can you believe that for the first time in a long while, I've actually had a bit of a social agenda the last few days? I know, it's shocking, but it was nice to get out of the house for a bit.

I'm currently sitting here at my desk trying desperately to focus on a project due for my class on Tuesday (which, in 20 short minutes will be tomorrow...eek). The task is to write a review of a picture book, so naturally during this time when I need to be concentrating on the works of others, I'm thinking more about my own feeble attempts at writing. I feel like I have a ton of stories building up inside of me, but I just can't ever seem to get them out on paper well enough to do them justice. Or perhaps these many ideas just sound better in my head.

Thank goodness I guess for this blog and my journal, because writing, like anything worth creating, is a labor of love. You have to offer up a bit of yourself in order for anything of any value to come out of it. You have to be willing to get it wrong, have other people hate it, and then try it all over again tomorrow. But in a world where failure is not an option, creativity is becoming stifled - our fear of not doing something that meets everyone's standards has finally outweighed the desire to even try at all. So here's to getting back on the horse. Here's to running everyday even though my back is still feeling off and some days I absolutely dread the walk down to the basement treadmill with my head full of anxiety about this 5K coming up because I know that when I cross the finish line, it will feel that much more awesome. And here's to the stories yet to be written, be it by me or anyone else. Time to just pick up the pen and paper, not worry about it looking great, and just letting the words fall where they may.

And in case you were wondering, yes today's title is a slight pun on the fact that tomorrow is Labor Day here in these United States of America. Celebrate safely, keep it classy, and I'll catch you on the flip side.

Day #8037 - LEEP Write Run

Hey there, readership! I promised you a slightly more detailed account of my birthday, though there's honestly not a whole lot to say. After a good run on the treadmill in the morning, I spent a good portion of the day at the library checking out the children's books I need to have read for my class next week and taking notes on them. Came home, had lunch, and after I got myself satisfactorily organized for the semester, continued on my quest to finish re-reading all 7 of the Harry Potter books. (FYI I finished Deathly Hallows Tuesday around 2pm because I took my time, thus ending my 4,100 page journey.) My grandma, her sister, and my bro's gf came over for dinner, there were some hockey-themed gifts (!!!), and then my next door neighbors joined us for cake. Their 6 year old daughter drew me a lovely card and told me that the picture on the front was what she thinks I'll look like in my wedding dress - I tell ya, kids say the darndest things and it was adorable so I couldn't help but smile. But honestly, I very ordinary day and that's what made it so good.

So what else is new besides being 22? My grad school classes started yesterday (I'm in what's called the LEEP program through U of I) - I've had two 2-hour lectures online so far, and I think they've gone pretty well. So far I'm interested, which is a good start. I'm proud of myself for staying on top of the readings so far and keeping organized - not so difficult right now because the projects haven't started yet, but hey, baby steps.

In addition to my many hours of reading and notetaking, I've found a revived love for my journal. Pages and pages of ramblings can be good for the soul, and plus I've adopted the use of multi-colored pens which just makes it even that much more fun.

And then there's the running. Now I would not call myself an athlete by any definition - mostly I take advantage of the treadmill in my basement because I know I should take care of myself (especially given my high Nutella intake). But yesterday, my friend Heidi convinced me to register do do the Mad Dash on Madison 5K sponsored by the Blackhawks downtown next month. It's coming up quick, September 18th, and I haven't done a 5K in over two years. For the last two days, I've run a mile and a half on the treadmill which is big news for me, but I can't even remember the last time I ran outside. However, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited. It gives me something to work on everyday that I won't get graded on, and it feels good to run after sitting and doing homework and online lectures during the day. All in all, good times.

So that's it from Wednesday. Keep it classy, readers, and until next time...

Day #8033 - Stuck in the Middle

I have a confession for you, readership. While my love of Harry Potter is deep and true, a factoid that I'm sure many of you have no doubt picked up on by now, I must admit that I love some of the books rather more than others. Not that I could necessarily pick a favorite novel from the series (I like different things from different books for different reasons), but I can say without a moment's hesitation that my least favorite would have to be book 5, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

I don't really know what it is about this book, but it's always seemed to rub me a bit wrong. Like an itch right in the middle of my back that I can't reach, but I force myself to keep trying for it anyway. It is by far the longest book in the series, too, so the fact that it is the hardest for me emotionally to get through is only amplified. There's teen angst. There's awkwardness. There are people refusing to and unable to understand where others are coming from. Maybe I have such a hard time with this novel because it reminds me way too much of myself.

Except, I can't say that I dislike the whole thing. I love the parts about Dumbledore's Army and when Fred and George decide to leave school in style. But mostly, my favorite part of the book is the final 120 pages. These last chapters are easily the most depressing as well due to the death of a loved character, the revelation of a sad prophecy, the start of a war, and the somber note it ends on with all of the characters facing uncertain futures. However, after 740 pages of wanting to punch something and feeling as frusturated as Harry himself, the last eighth of the book is so beautifully and poignantly written, I don't mind that the subject matter is on the sad side. In fact, I've always been able to connect with Harry most strongly at this point in the series. Now that I've just finished the novel, I feel exhausted but at the same time relieved because the I know the next two books are literary masterpieces, at least in my opinion, and truly reveal the genius of JK Rowling's imagination, planning, and story telling.

Also, the last time I set out to read the whole series was right before the 7th book came out and I cheated by watching the 5th movie rather than reading the book because I was running short on time. But not this time!

So here's to having 5 books down, 2 to go! Keep it classy readers!

Day #8024 - Page by Page

There's an old saying that says, "Idle hands are the devil's handywork," meaning that if you have nothing to do, you'll get into trouble. At the moment, it's a sentiment that I can certainly understand. With just under a week and a half before school starts again, I am surprised to find myself with so much free time, yet not much to do. I make my daily calls to try and to register my teaching certificate in my region (but that's a story for another day) so that I can finish my applications to become a substitute teacher. I'm getting back into the habit of running in the morning and all that jazz. I've even been practicing my guitar and sounding slightly less terrible. Yet there is still a lot of open time in my days, at least for the next week and a half anyway.

All of this has led me to my crazy goal. In the last week and a half, I have read three novels. More like flew through them, actually. So I've set up a challenge for myself - to reread all 7 Harry Potter books before my birthday and the first day of school on the 23rd. Is it completely ridiculous? Oh heck yes. But given the current state of funk that I've been stuck in for a while, I think these novels could be just the boost I need to snap me out of it. It's been several years since I've read them, so it also makes for a nice trip down memory lane. I can remember where I was they days I got each of these books, even the first one which I got in 1999.

So wish me luck, readers, as I attempt to dive into this magical world all over again. Anything to distract me from the crazy high temperatures and humidity we've been getting here in Chicagoland! Yeesh!

Day #8005 - The Write Stuff

One of the many things that drew me to being an English major so many moons ago was my love of stories. Well that and wanting to learn all the rules of proper grammar so I could correct people, but I never got around to that. But ever since I was little, I have always been captivated by a well told story. Great written works like Hop on Pop and of course the Disney (and later Pixar) Classics that so many of us have come to know and love.

However reading hundreds of stories and being able to write a good one yourself are two very different things. Lately I have been trying my hand again at writing stories and so far, not too terrible. It's been fun getting some of these ideas down on paper and playing around with them in my head, and there's so much more to think about than I ever really appreciated before. Will my stories lead to anything? Most likely not, but in the meantime, I like having a project that makes me think.

Sorry, readership. I was definitely planning on going somewhere with this topic, but I guess I lost my train of thought. Keep it classy and keep on reading!

Day #7984 - Oh me-o, Oh my-oh, Why are we in Ohio?

Well readers, after many many hours in the car today, I am back to home sweet home in Schaumburg. Yesterday was tubing down a lazy river with the family in Tennessee followed by dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.( heck yes, Forrest Gump!! And the food was really good!) and walking around Gatlinburg. Mom and I hit the road bright and early today and I am very much looking forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight. The ride home was mostly uneventful except for the fact that we had pretty much no idea where we were going. The route that the GPS had us take going to Tennessee was not the same one it had us use to get home. We were driving along through Kentucky, crossed the state line into Indiana, and then ten minutes later crossed another state line into Ohio before we eventually got back to Indiana. A little unnerving, but we arrived back home safe and sound.

Almost done with Eat Pray Love - I seriously can't put it down!

The next few days will be filled with working out, laundry, going over articles, and finishing my paper before heading down to school on Wednesday. But more on all of that later - I am positively beat tonight. Keep it classy, readership =)

Day #7981 Continued - Dollywood?

Well, after 11 hours of driving through Illinois, Indiana, and Kentucky, my mom and I have finally arrived in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Apparently Dollywood is nearby, but unfortunately I don't think we will have the time to take that in on this particular trip. The drive went fine, nothing too crazy or anything. I think the most "exciting" parts were when we were about halfway through Indiana and suddenly there were hills and then I looked at my cell phone a few hours later and realized that we had in fact changed time zones. I don't know why, but for some reason that hadn't occurred to either of us Tennessee was not only south of Schaumburg, but also far enough east where the time would change too.

I'm already about one-third of the way through "Eat Pray Love" and am really enjoying it so far, though it could largely due to the fact that the first part of the woman's journey takes place in Italy so it was making me homesick for Verona and really good pizza. But in a good way!

Anyway, we're here. I've promised to be on my best behavior and at least attempt to act like, you know, a responsible and respectable young lady. Yeah, I'm laughing on the inside, too...

Day #7977 - A Few Random Firsts

Why hello there, my few (but hopefully faithful) readers! I know it's been a few days, but lately I have actually been busy! It's crazy, I know, but it happened. Not really doing much out of the ordinary, though there are a few milestones that I have hit that have kept me away from writing here.

First off, I finally finished all of the required reading for my first grad school class! Now you're probably sitting there thinking 'so what? You were an English major - reading is what you do.' Well please let me elaborate. The course that I'm taking right now asks us to do all of the reading before we have to go to Champaign for what the school calls our 10-day "bootcamp" of a class that ends with a final exam. Rather than reading all of these articles on my computer screen, I had them printed and they now fill two 2" binders that are sitting on my dresser. It took me a few weeks, but I finally finished reading them all yesterday, and I'm feeling pretty good as a result. I still have a 500 word paper due before bootcamp in July which will require me to go back and re-read two articles, but I've left myself a comfortable cushion to get that done.

Another thing that I finally completed yesterday, for the first time ever in my life, was a journal. I've tried keeping a journal at multiple times, mostly during junior high, high school, and college, but I would usually only stick with it for a few weeks or months, then get bored or come up with excuses about why I was too busy to write and eventually just stop. Then when I would rediscover the notebook several weeks or months later, I'd usually rip out the pages I had written before (deeming their contents ridiculous and making me cringe) and then start the process all over again. But this journal was different, at least in the fact that I did not keep ripping pages out. I started writing in it on January 1, 2008 so it only took me two and a half years to fill the whole thing, but I think better late than never. It's a little terrifying to look over at my bookshelf and see this hard cover notebook and know that it is filled cover to cover with my thoughts. So even though I finished writing in it, I don't think I'll go back and read it anytime soon for fear of some major cringing and an over-use of the Awkward Starfish.

Other than that, it's business as usual. I went out to St. Charles to visit my friend Katie which was so much fun. She made dinner and we proceeded to watch an MTV documentary about Courtney Love (she has had quite a life) and then switching channels between Will & Grace and The Golden Girls. It was so great to hang out with her, and I'm not just saying that because of my current state of hermit-dom. It also felt great to just get out and drive - nothing quite like wide open spaces getting away from the more crowded suburbs with the sunroof open and the sounds of James Taylor and Carole King streaming out of my stereo - it was a great summer moment.

Keep reading! Sorry for the ramblings, but I really didn't know what to talk about this time. Maybe it'll be better tomorrow, but you'll have to come back to find out :o)