Day #9110 - Twenty-Five Thousand and Fifty-Eight Reasons to Celebrate

Internet, this really isn't a huge occasion in the grand scheme of things, but it is to me and I've decided to share it with you.

This summer has been hard for me. Emotionally I've had a lot of baggage piling up in a very un-fun way making it increasingly difficult to stay positive. Add on the fact that in just under three weeks I head back to work, turn 25, and my time becomes incredibly crunched and it just makes the pressure levels rise until I feel like I am going to burst. Or collapse. Or break down. Maybe even all three.

So writing should have been my escape, right? I put together the best outline I've ever done for a piece. I had to think so much about how this plot and these characters were going to fit together before I could get started, and I did it. I put in the hours. I have a notebook keeping all my thoughts consolidated. I have an amazing critique partner who helps me figure ways out of tough spots and cheering me on when I want to give up. But my demons wouldn't leave me alone. There would be days where I couldn't even think about this story, so I'd instead retreat into a side project for Stories by SaM. I kept reading and writing (and lately listening to audiobooks. The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater is a book I liked last year, but am completely loving as an audiobook right now). But this story, code name Bluebird Novel, continued to give me trouble despite my efforts.

It wasn't even a question of why. I know why. I'm afraid I'm not a good enough writer for this idea. They few people I've shared the basic plot with have loved it, so imagine how deeply in love I am. I just want it to be great. I want the vision in my head and this journey these characters go on to be the best it can be. But am I a good enough writer to make that happen? Some days I'm convinced I'm not. Other days, I'm hopeful. The past two days especially I was finally able to get up off the mat and try again. And this afternoon, I crossed over the 25,000 word mark.

Is the pacing off? Probably. Is the dialogue perfect? Not even close. But the pieces are starting to come together. My characters' voices are becoming more distinct. Their situation more dire. I'm actually making myself take a break right now so when I pick up tomorrow, I'll be able to carry over some of today's momentum. Considering how rotten I was feeling about trying to make this story work before, today 25,000 words feels like a miracle. Now only 55,000 to go... I think I can do it.

This book, if I can do it right, has the potential to be something really special. Could it be my 'big break?' Who knows. After my last tour of Queryland, I'm not getting my hopes up. However, I finally feel like a Writer again, which is no small feat. Even if this story only ends up being for me and a few people I choose to share it with, it's still definitely a Something.

So that's a good feeling. In honor of this nice big word count number and good feeling, therefore, click the link here to listen to one of the songs on my playlist for this novel. Not only does it reflect how I feel sometimes (especially with my writing), but it also captures the feelings of my protagonist really well. =)

Day #8510 - Minor Victories

I am very proud to announce that today, December 11, 2011 at 6:27 p.m. CST, I FINALLY finished my first draft of my NaNoWriMo novel! I did hit 50,000 words before November 30, so technically I was a "winner," but strictly speaking I wasn't because the goal of that group is to complete a first draft in a novel in a month.

So it took me 41 days instead of 31. Minor details. Let's move on to the part where I get to do a happy dance!

*insert happy dance here*

Originally I gave myself until a week from today (the 18th) to finally finish my first draft. However, during the week I felt myself dragging and I was confused. It wasn't that I didn't know where I wanted my story to go - quite the contrary, I knew exactly where I wanted it to go, I just didn't know how exactly to get it there. So I decided to go back to what I was doing early on in NaNoWriMo and plan out an outline of what was going to happen with my story before I sat down to write it. I've been playing with that for a few days and today I found myself on a roll. I didn't expect to finish the draft today, but I think I mentally needed to. The subject matter and general tone of this story is not nearly as happy (happy's not really the right word, but my vocabulary is failing me right now) as the story I wrote earlier this year, but I think the combination of that heavier tone and the fact that I wrote it so quickly just meant I needed to wrap this draft up so I can step away from it for a while, go back to editing Summer Story (I think that will be my ultra-fun code name for that story), and moving ahead with that (whatever that might mean).

We all on the same page? Okay. Excellent.

So just to recap, I've now written two first drafts of novels in the past 7 MONTHS.

*insert second happy dance here*

Thanks to my friends and family for their amazing support during this crazy journey! Comments always welcome and thanks for everything, blogosphere!

Day #8503 - December Doings

Why hello there, blog! So nice to see you again. I know I've been neglecting you lately, and I really do feel bad about it. Let me tell you why, though, and I think you'll see where I'm coming from.

The last week has been a bit crazy to say the least in terms of scheduling and being booked. First off, I've been a reading MACHINE, devouring three novels in a matter of days. One of them was The Future of Us by Jay Asher and Carolyn Macker (check out my review of it over on my book-review blog) which seriously made me re-think the amount of time I spend on the internet and another was Five Flavors of Dumb, a work of fiction about a girl who is both deaf and the manager of a rock band at her high school - both books had such interesting concepts! If you haven't read them yet, you absolutely should.

Another thing that happened recently was on Thursday, I completed my grad school class for this semester! This now means I am one semester/two classes away from being DONE with my masters degree in May. *insert happy dance here*

But this is a writing blog, so I bet you're all dying to know what things have been like on the writing front for me. Honestly, I had to take a bit of a break. Not just because life has been reaching new levels of packed, but also after NaNoWriMo, I just needed to take a step back and take a breath.  I was starting to feel like Donna Moss in the West Wing:




See what I mean? My novel is the room with the boxes, and somewhere both written down and in the recesses of my brain is the piece of paper that I made out when this once "really great story idea" hit me and let me know where it was going. I can't find that piece of paper (I'm not even being metaphorical anymore - I really did lose the paper! eek!), but it's all okay because by taking a step back, it all came back to me. Now that November is over, I'm able to slow down my pace a bit (a necessary move for my sanity), but I've also set a personal deadline for December 18th to have this draft done by. Keep your fingers crossed for me, eh?

So that's really it from me for now, though I have to make a final plea. With both this and my other blog, I only have two followers each. If you read this regularly, please subscribe to me as a follower and if you like what you see, tell your friends and family! *steps down off soapbox*

Hope everyone's December is off to a good start!  Comments welcome and keep warm!

Day #8496 - Finished (Sort of)!

It has taken me quite a while. To get here, I have sacrificed my evenings to slaving over my keyboard and my lunch hours at work to outlining in my steno pad trying to figure out where the heck I am going. But this crazy journey that started on November 1st and seemed like a completely impossible goal has now been accomplished: I have written 50,000 words on a brand new story idea in the last 27 days.

Woot! *insert happy dance here*

I never thought I'd actually be able to take on the beast that is National Novel Writing Month. I mean, it's a ridiculous notion. Who the heck can write an entire novel in a month? It's crazy! It's insane!

It's also not me.

Let me explain. Yes, I did hit the 50,000 word goal that NaNoWriMo sets out for participants, so in that light, I am indeed a winner. But is my story actually done right now? Have I yet typed "the end" and brought the plot to a conclusion? Not so much. So in that regard, I am still a bit of a loser. But still, I'm excited because between work during the day, grad school at night, my two blogs, reading, and the many other things that make up my life, I still think it's pretty cool that I managed to write this much in this amount of time.

So here's to my second story being significantly closer to being done than it was 27 days ago. My hope is to have this first draft completed within the next two weeks, then I will probably take a break from this story and go back to Manuscript #1 (which I really want to come up with a cool code name for) that I wrote this summer and get to editing/rewriting. But I do feel like the pressure is off a bit. While I will still probably write every day, it will be because I want to and I can take my time with it, not because I feel like I have to.

So there you have it, folks. To my fellow WriMos, good luck here in the home stretch. To my fellow writers out there, I wish you luck and success in your own endeavors. What a long and winding road writing a book can take us on as we spend so much time inside our own heads, but what a feeling when you do it, right?

:-)

Day #8492 - Christmas Came Early

I know that Thanksgiving is supposed to come first and that's not until tomorrow, but I am almost positive that Christmas was actually on Monday night because I got to meet ten fabulous YA authors at Anderson's Bookshop in Naperville.

For a librarian's/more professional perspective on why these events and independent bookstores are a great thing, I suggest you check out my book review blog here. Right now I'm about to express nothing short of love and gratitude for these writers.

You have been warned.

But seriously, who knew that Mondays could ever be so great?! First of all, the whole event was moderated by author/editor extraordinaire David Levithan (Every You, Every Me; Will Grayson, Will Grayson; Boy Meets Boy) which was fantastic. He asked great questions that someone like me who's not really in the business (yet? haha) wouldn't have thought of.

First off I got to joke around and talk about "old-school, MySpace self-portrait skills" with A.S. King, author of Please Ignore Vera Dietz and Everybody Sees the Ants, two books I'm insanely excited to read. There was Stephanie Perkins who I got to talk to and she signed my copy of Lola and the Boy Next Door. She's incredibly nice, has a sense of style I wish I were bold enough to pull off, plus she's a Nerdfighter - she's easily one of my favorite writers.

Me with Stephanie Perkins

Then there was Carolyn Mackler and Jay Asher who each signed my copy of their brand new book The Future of Us (which I'll be reviewing over at The Fuma Files shortly once my grad school semester ends). I was so excited to tell them that the students at the school I work at voted for them as some of their favorite authors and it felt really good.

Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler

I continued making my way around the room and talked briefly with Heather Brewer, author of The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod series, and David. I asked if I could get a picture of the two of them for my students (it makes me sound slightly less like a nerdy fan-girl) and they did, which was awesome. Then David asked if I would mind taking a picture on his phone so he could send it to Heather. And I gladly did. That's right, folks. I got to hold THE David Levithan's iPhone haha. Then I got a picture with Heather and she asked if I'd gotten any swag yet. I admitted that I didn't, so she gave me a Vlad Tod tote bag AND t-shirt. You can bet your bottom dollar I checked out the first book from her series the next morning as soon as I got to work. I'm excited to give vampires another chance.

David Levithan & Heather Brewer

Rocking my new Vlad Tod shirt with Eighth Grade Bites

Then there was talking about cicadas and colored hair extensions with Jackie Kessler (The Horsemen of the Apocalypse: The Riders Quartet) and C.J. Hill (Slayers). I shared with them the secret of my incredibly bright blue hair, and in return they let me get a picture and gave me signed posters.

Jackie Kessler & C.J. Hill

Also there were Coe Booth (Bronxwood) and Jeff Hirsch (The Eleventh Plague), neither of whom I got to talk to but they both seemed incredibly nice and I'm anxious to read their books as well.

So long story short, I'm super pumped now to keep going with my draft. I know I've been a bit whiny lately that it's dragging on, this month is so long, blah blah blah, but at the end of the day, writing and telling stories makes me so incredibly happy that it's all worth it. I was so bummed when I got home that I couldn't just burn the midnight oil and write in to the wee hours of the morning, but my students and work deserve my full attention during the day so that would hardly have been fair to them. All in all, though, it was an amazing night, I'm so glad I went, and I hope I can continue going to events like this which encourage people's love of reading in the years to come.

Follow those who use it on Twitter:

Anderson's Bookshop

Jay Asher

Carolyn Mackler

Stephanie Perkins
Heather Brewer

A.S. King

Jackie Kessler

Janette Rallison (aka CJ Hill)

Jeff Hirsch

Day #8478 - The Reality of WriMo

I'm just going to tell it to you straight, Internet. We're only nine days into NaNoWriMo and I still don't know what to make of it.

On the one hand, it's going pretty well. I'm finding that the rough outlines I've been making are really helpful in keeping me moving forwards, but not so constricting that I'm afraid of deviating from it if that's where the characters or scene should take me. I'm liking most of my characters (and enjoying disliking the ones I don't want people to like). And more than all of that, I like being disciplined in my writing and doing it every day. Taking it seriously makes me happy. Plus today I crossed over the 20,000 word mark, which feels pretty darn good.

*Insert happy dance here*

But then, there's that pesky other hand.

Because over on the other hand, word count wise that means I'm only a third of the way to my goal. I know it's a marathon and not a sprint (but at the same time, who are we kidding - of course it's a sprint!), but I'm already feeling quite drained and as I've already said, it's only day nine and there are 22 days to go.

I can see what Maggie Stiefvater meant now in her anti-NaNoWriMo blog posts about how the whole concept of the project works very much against people who have families or jobs or other commitments other than writing all of the time...wait a minute...that sounds like pretty much everyone. So this is one of those moments when I'm not complaining but I really am but just a little bit! It's hard for me to get into a writing groove when I get home from a full day at work because I'd love to kick back a little, visit with my family and unwind. If weekends have taught me anything, it's that my best (and usually most productive) writing happens in the middle of the day, but seeing as that is when I am work during the week, that's not really an option. Plus this past week I have been woefully neglectful of my graduate studies.

(But on the plus side, I registered for next semester and will be graduating in May! *insert second happy dance here*)

Perhaps this month I have bitten off a bit more than I can metaphorically chew, but I'm hoping that since I don't have work on Friday due to Veterans Day, the extra time will allow me the chance to get the many writing and book-oriented aspects of my life (which is most of my life) back on track.

So NaNoWriMo, so far I think we're okay, but I'm not so sure I am about making this thing we have a permanent deal. The writing part can stay. The writing a first draft in 30 days thing while also trying to manage the rest of my life and sleep and be a functioning human being? Yeah, I'm not so sure about that one actually happening.

Day #8110 - Dear Monica

On a spring day almost two and a half years ago, I started this blog in preparation for my trip to Verona, Italy. This past summer, a movie came out featuring my beloved city and sharing with the world a story about Romeo's Juliet that I never heard of while I was there: for almost longer than people can remember, people from around the world have been writing letters to Juliet and asking her for advice. For at least the last 70 years, she has been writing back (or at least her secretaries have been on her behalf).

Not going to lie, I'm not the hugest fan of Romeo & Juliet, but I think that's largely due to the fact that the only time I've read it, I was 14 and looking at the situation through cynical 21st-century eyes. I mean, come on. Over the course of four days, a 16-year old and a 12-year old fall in love, get married, and end up committing suicide almost accidentally? Seriously?

But the story is everywhere in Verona and during my six weeks there, I at least learned to appreciate the spirit of the story. So upon seeing the movie and reading the book Letters to Juliet this summer, I decided to embrace the role Juliet has had in my life and I wrote her a letter of my own the day before my 22nd birthday asking her about patience.

Today, my mom came up to my room telling me that I had gotten a letter from Verona, Italy in the mail. My jaw almost hit the floor.

A short, handwritten letter is now laying in its envelope on my desk. Not very long, but still very thoughtful and I'm just still in awe that it's actually here. I don't know if I was expecting some sort of automated, fill-in-the-recipient's-name-here sort of thing, but what I have is great. Not to mention, she offered some great advice and a fresh perspective. Is it hokey? A little bit, but I'll take it. Maybe I wasn't too fond of Juliet when I first read her story, but maybe it's time that I give the play a second chance after all these years.

Me and the Juliet statue that stands outside the Chicago Shakespeare Theatre on Navy Pier, a gift from the City of Verona. I also have a picture with her twin that stands under the "Juliet Balcony" in Italy.

Day #8058 - And Many More

Don't really have anything to blog about today readers, except here's a big shoutout to my parents - today is their 26th wedding anniversary! Woot Woot! Congrats!

Day #8035 - Birthday Blog!

Getting this in just under the wire!

Reader's Digest version for now:
Yesterday I was 21. Today I'm 22. Was a completely ordinary day, and because that was the case, one of the better birthdays I've had in a long time because I didn't hype it up before hand. Good times.

Day #7972 - The Longest Day

Happy Summer Solstice!

Now for those of you who either don't know me or haven't been paying attention, I have an awkward love for anything to do with either solstice or equinox - they make for four wonderful times of the year to celebrate. June 21st means different things to different people - it's (technically) the first day of summer, it's the longest day of the year in terms of hours we have of sunlight, it's the anniversary of the release of the 5th Harry Potter book, etc. Whichever you choose to acknowledge, from now until December 21st, the days will be getting ever so slightly shorter. Also, I know that the whole myth about being able to stand an egg on its end is something that actually goes along with the Spring and Winter Equinox, but I did it today during dinner. Pictures will be coming soon, never fear.

Let me just fill you in a little bit on the crazyness that has been this weekend. Friday there was a storm that came through - not a huge one, but apparently enough to knock out our power. After 56 hours of no electricity, it finally came back last night (of course, right after I had brought my computer and phone over to my grandparents' house so that I might charge everything up, update this for you the readership, and check facebook. Clearly I have my priorities in order).

On a brighter note, Saturday was a day for the ages. While at Woodfield Mall with my mom in search of an acceptable Father's Day present for Dad, we could not help but notice the huge crowd that had formed outside Field of Dreams and the entorage of mall security flanking the door. Seriously, I did not know that Woodfield even employed that many guards. Anyway, upon reading the sign outside the storefront we saw that they were expecting two athletes to come and do autograph signing. About two minutes later who should come down the escalator but Andrew Ladd and Kris Versteeg of the CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS!!! I was quite excited, I've never seen any members of the team before other than on tv because I've never been to a game. It was really cool. As if that wasn't enough hockey goodness for one day in the off season, later on Mom, Dad, Steven and I went over to Elk Grove for the Rotary Fest parade. I ran into some people from high school which was awesome because it wasn't awkward and then we staked out prime spots on the curb for the main event. As part of his designated day with the trophy, John McDonough decided to share it with his neighbors. I could barely contain my enthusiasm as I saw the STANLEY CUP with my own eyes on a float with "Chelsea Dagger" playing in the background. Yes, pictures were taken - my current facebook pic is me standing in the street grinning like a fool with the Cup behind me. And it wasn't just me - the street was full of Hawks fans and even the rest of my family could not deny how it cool it was to be so close. When the float stopped, the mayor said some nice words as did Mr. McDonough and then that was that. It was nice to have something fun happen in the middle of our power outage.

Father's Day was yesterday, and so I must give a shoutout to my own amazing DAD - You Rock! KB!! We were supposed to have people over here, but we were still without power so instead we brought the party over to Grandma and Grandpa's where the Curtis "funeral" took place, Bocci ball was played, we rolled down the hill, and all around good times were had. Finally after we got home, the lights came on around 9:30. A nice way to end the weekend.

So that's all that's been happening really in my world, loyal readers! Please keep the comments coming - it makes such a difference to know if anybody is looking at this thing. And if there's ever a topic or random factoid on which you'd like to hear my ramblings, please let me know! Bring on those emails and enjoy the rest of your solstice!