Day #9107 - 24 Until 25

So I turn 25 in 24 days and as it turns out, this is bringing up a lot of feelings.

Yeah, I'm not wild about it either. I'm actually terrified. The thing about growing up is that it never stops. Well, I mean, yeah it stops when you're dead, but if life-life is stagnet, if you're not growing anymore, then something is wrong.

In a lot of ways, I do feel like this is the right age for me. My interests. My tastes in music and clothes and what my idea of a good time is. I have my own beliefs and opinions that I may not have had a few years ago. I care about different things. I see the world more complexly. I have dreams and goals and desires that my teenage self never would have been able to wrap her head around. They would have seemed to foreign and far away.

Yet, in more ways than I'm entirely comfortable with, I don't feel almost-25 at all. I still feel like wearing high heels means I'm playing dress up. I still don't have a solid understanding of things I think 'grown ups' should like stocks and stuff. (I also frequently still use the word 'stuff' - yeah, I have an English degree and fancy myself a writer.) My friends are getting married and having babies, but it feels like just yesterday we were going to each other's high school graduation parties. Now we talk about car payments and home projects. Instead of going out at 10:00, I consider it a good day when I'm in bed by that time.

So this last month before I hit the quarter-century mark will be a busy one. I've got a lot of emotions I want to sort through, I have to get ready for a new school year to start at the end of August, I have a massive stack of books to read, and I want to make more progress on my own WIP before said school year sucks me in and 'free time' becomes fictional again. Wish me luck, Internet. These 24 days are going to be something else...