Day #8979 - Patience

Oh, Internet. Remember when I used to be a more dependable blogger here? Someone who actually posted with a relatively high level of consistency with entries that weren't all embedded YouTube videos and contained, you know, words and thoughts with substance?

Well spring is here (though it certainly doesn't feel like it here in Chicagoland) and I'm determined to be better about that. New season, fresh start.

So what have I been up to? Quite a lot. There was the Dear Cassie release at the beginning of the month and was fun, but at the same time, after that day came and went, I was left with my usual paralyzing fear that always accompanies my writing. My Amy Pond contest entry is now out in the world, and it's my only writing 'success' to date. While it did give my confidence a boost and I did send out a fresh round of query letters, the responses haven't really changed. Form rejections. Gotta love 'em. Though at least I am developing a thick skin on that front.

I was also lucky enough for my pitch to be selected for Write On Con's Pitch-Fest and I got more feedback from fresh sets of eyes. It was really helpful to get constructive criticism. Unfortunately I queried so many agents with a letter that I now know wasn't the strongest and I still have a ways to go on perfecting my pitch skills. The rational part of me is winning that internal battle, knowing that it's better I learn this sooner rather than later, but there is that dark corner of my brain where the doubts dwell where I spend a lot of time, frustrated that I still can't seem to get this right and what if I'm not meant to ever be a published author?

Patience and practice, though, are the keys to success. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself, though if I'm honest, I haven't done much writing since the Dear Cassie contest as a result of these fears. I keep planning and planning and note taking and there's been a lot of thinking about writing and my story idea.

Just not really so much writing. So this upcoming week while I'm off from work (school district I work for is on spring break), I want to step away from my procrastination-via-planning and actually start writing this project. I'm a planner, not a panster, so I know I won't be too comfortable writing without knowing quite where I'm going for too long, but it's time to get back on the bike so to speak.

There's been a lot of other things filling my days too. Family members and friends announcing engagements and babies on the way and I'm also helping directing a play at my school. But this is the Internet, so you don't get to know everything =P Just believe me when I say there's plenty of good going on too.

So that's enough for one rambling post. Hopefully "next time" will be sooner rather than later =)