3. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Am I the only one bothered by this song? Especially in the version that sounds like a little kid is singing, almost proudly declaring that he's witnessed his mother cheating. I know some people might argue that in today's society with 50% of marriages ending in divorce, maybe Mommy is single and ready to mingle. But the lyrics clearly bring up the question that Daddy could walk right in at any moment. And what about Mrs. Claus, eh? Some sailors would brag about having a girl in every port, but poor Mrs. Claus could very well be married to a man with women all over the world.
2. Santa Baby
This song kind of reminds me of when Anna Nicole Smith was still alive and married to that millionaire who looked about 100 years old. While it's not uncommon for women to be attracted to older men, but I mean, this song just makes me go "ew." It's skeevy! I hear this and just think, "This girl must have some serious daddy issues" and that if Barney Stinson were real, he'd be taking advantage of her in a heartbeat.
1. Baby It's Cold Outside
Oh how I both love and get mildly creeped out by this song! I love the duet, it's incredibly catchy, and it just screams Rat Pack to me. But the lyrics do have a little bit of a "hey, wait a minute" feel to them. Girl needs to go, boy seems to be concerned for her safety and the fact that it's freezing, girl accepts another drink before she hits the road, girl realizes boy roofied her drink?! Okay maybe not that extreme, but I can easily see the girl coming home the next morning, makeup smudged and hair disheveled, asking her mother to stop yelling because she's got a hangover and is in desperate need of aspirin and some strong coffee. But unlike the other two songs, I'll happily sing along with this one because it's so dang catchy!
Honorable Mention: The Christmas Shoes
Now before you think I'm a horrible person for putting this on my list, let me explain. This song is actually very sweet, telling the story of a poor boy who wants to buy a Christmas present for his dying mother. However, me and some friends in high school believed this was just a cover story and made up an alternate. The little boy is only pretending to need money to buy his mom shoes - in actuality, Mom is a drug addict and has sent her son out to collect money from kind, unsuspecting strangers to help support her habit. What can I say? We were in high school and we thought it was hilarious. So now every time I hear this song, I think about my friends from yesteryear and our theories about what this song might really be about.