Day #9314 - Going for Goals

The Sochi Winter Olympics will soon be coming to a close, and what a ride it has been. I seem to be in the minority of people that absolutely loves the Olympics - especially the winter games - but I always have. When I was little, I probably could have named everyone on the 1992 US figure skating team. I wanted to be Kristi Yamaguchi so bad! I remember in 1996 when Keri Strug landed the vault that won the US's Magnificent Seven team gold in women's gymnastics. I watched Tara Lipinski and Michelle Kwan in awe in the '98 Nagano games. I became obsessed with curling in '02 Salt Lake, the Italian culture in '06 Turin, spent my 20th birthday watching Michael Phelps win gold in '08 Beijing, sat through a nail-biting USA-Canada hockey final in '10 Vancouver, and fell in love with London (again) in 2012.

For a non-athlete, my life has been influenced and touched by these grand Olympic moments. For these Sochi games, I was particularly struck right away how artistry meets insanity. Think about it. Skiing aerials, moguls, the half-pipe, skating, and plenty more of these events are all a blend of making something look beautiful, easy and pushing the absolute limits of the human body and gravity. I've lost track of the number of times over the past two weeks that I've asked "How can they do that? How is that even possible?"

The answer I've been hearing over and over is consistent: a lot of hard work, plus if there was ever a time to go big, it's the Olympics.

Being exposed to this kind of attitude so often for the last has been good for my writing. Since I only seem to post here once a month, I guess it's update time. The last WIP I mentioned has been set aside for the time being. It wasn't right. As I tried to push that idea, I found there wasn't enough there to make a full story of it right now. It's frustrating - I haven't finished a first draft in quite a while now - but sometimes it's just about timing. Rather than get upset about it, I combed through some of my old files and notes, wanting to write something just for me. I reread an idea I actually spent a few months on last year, still really liked it but now I could now recognize why it didn't work the first time I tried it.

So I've gutted it almost completely, but with some changes right from the start it's completely different. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun writing. I've been going slowly and taking my time but day dreaming a lot, having fun building this world, been putting together a secret Pinterest board, adding to this idea's notebook from last year, the whole works. But the biggest thing has been that I'm keeping this one to myself for now. I'm going big. My characters are doing and saying things I've never tried before. And I have no idea if it's good, but it's finally fun again.

Who knows how it will end up. Maybe I'll hit 10,000 words and freeze up again. But that's okay. Because the goal right now is to keep on writing, and if there was ever a time to do it, it's now.

Day #9275 - Frozen

I know it's terribly to cliche to talk about the weather, but for once in a long while, it's actually quite worthy of the level of conversation it's been getting. A week ago, it was -20 F. Today it was 50 degrees warmer - a downright balmy 30 degrees.

Take a minute to let your brain wrap around that one and explode if absolutely necessary. It's weird. It just is.

Anyway, Chicagoland has been covered in snow for quite a while now and the windchills last week were borderline scary (at least for this part of the country). A good remedy for this? Seeing the movie Frozen and then listening to the soundtrack on repeat.

Seriously. Great life choice.

So frozen is an adequate word to describe my physical environment. It's also a pretty good choice for describing how I'm feeling about my current WIP. I've discovered a pattern that frightens me. Simply put, I have a tendency to hit 10,000 words on a project and then freeze. Even though I know where I plan on the story going, even though I adore my characters and know them inside-out, I still get stuck. 

I've been stuck on my current scene for the better part of a week because every time I sit down to the keyboard, the doubts come floating back in. About how despite all the queries I sent to agents for my first manuscript, I only got two or three requests for a partial or full and no offers of representation. What makes me think this story will be different? If no one wanted that story, who would want this one? Is it good enough? Or am I waisting my time? 

But then the earbuds go in to try and drown the doubts out. Because the truth is, 10,000 words isn't half bad. It's a something. And As for this story, I love it. It's the kind of story I would have loved to find on a bookshelf when I was 17. And sure, I'm still in the dreaded first draft and there's a very, very long way to go, but I need to keep reminding myself that there's a reason that of all the plot bunnies that were in my brain, I followed this one for a reason. I need to give myself the benefit of the doubt. And yes, it may very well be that I'm the only one who ever reads this story. But it's mine to tell. I have an obligation to myself. So I'm not technically an author, but I am a writer as long as I keep trying.

So here's to being frozen, and here's to the thaw.

Day #9217 - The More Things Change

It has been a very long time since I've been this bad at posting here, but better late than never, right?

And so, a recap. The past few months have been incredibly busy. The school year started back up and right away I was up to my eyeballs in all of the library things, plus my new official role as assistant director of the school's drama club who put together a comedy just in time for Halloween.

Of course I didn't actually get to see either of the performances of the show for an audience, but with good reason! After a very long engagement, Brother got married that weekend, so I now have a sister in law and brought my bouquet catching record for the year up to 3 out of 5 weddings.

And really, that's just the tip of the iceberg. So far, being 25 has been all about changes. But the more things change, the more they stay the same. My family is growing, but that just means they matter to me that much more. My job has brought more new people into my life as well, and for that I'm grateful.

But the thing that has the most to do with me, the change that is most predictable considering my life is this: I'm writing again. And I mean that in the long story sense. Yes, my critique partner Sarah and I have been writing short stories for our blog Stories by SaM so it's not like I've been completely dormant, but my success with long stories hasn't been so great. I grew very thick skin when I queried my first novel and part of me is still really disappointed that I wasn't able to find an agent for it. I wasn't expecting to need so much time to bounce back, but I was terrified of facing the page again. If that idea sucked, then how would I know if my others are any good?

Eventually, I got over that fear. Or more like I got used to it. This summer, I jumped back in with a science fiction story unlike anything I'd ever done before. And after 100 pages, I had to stop. I still believe in the story, but I'm not the writer I need to be to give that story what it needs yet.

So it was back to the drawing board. Again. Not a fun place to be, but the great thing about finally finding a critique partner who understands how my brain works meant I wasn't alone. Her feedback on my short stories has been helpful, and it was actually the thing that got me into a new project. Code name: Red Novel. I've made it a hashtag and everything. Not going to lie, it's going slowly. It's a little bit painful. But it's different, I'm excited, and I'm taking my time. Simply put, I'm trying because sometimes, I think Yoda got it wrong. Sometimes, all there is is try.

And that, dear readers, is where I'm at.

Day #9110 - Twenty-Five Thousand and Fifty-Eight Reasons to Celebrate

Internet, this really isn't a huge occasion in the grand scheme of things, but it is to me and I've decided to share it with you.

This summer has been hard for me. Emotionally I've had a lot of baggage piling up in a very un-fun way making it increasingly difficult to stay positive. Add on the fact that in just under three weeks I head back to work, turn 25, and my time becomes incredibly crunched and it just makes the pressure levels rise until I feel like I am going to burst. Or collapse. Or break down. Maybe even all three.

So writing should have been my escape, right? I put together the best outline I've ever done for a piece. I had to think so much about how this plot and these characters were going to fit together before I could get started, and I did it. I put in the hours. I have a notebook keeping all my thoughts consolidated. I have an amazing critique partner who helps me figure ways out of tough spots and cheering me on when I want to give up. But my demons wouldn't leave me alone. There would be days where I couldn't even think about this story, so I'd instead retreat into a side project for Stories by SaM. I kept reading and writing (and lately listening to audiobooks. The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater is a book I liked last year, but am completely loving as an audiobook right now). But this story, code name Bluebird Novel, continued to give me trouble despite my efforts.

It wasn't even a question of why. I know why. I'm afraid I'm not a good enough writer for this idea. They few people I've shared the basic plot with have loved it, so imagine how deeply in love I am. I just want it to be great. I want the vision in my head and this journey these characters go on to be the best it can be. But am I a good enough writer to make that happen? Some days I'm convinced I'm not. Other days, I'm hopeful. The past two days especially I was finally able to get up off the mat and try again. And this afternoon, I crossed over the 25,000 word mark.

Is the pacing off? Probably. Is the dialogue perfect? Not even close. But the pieces are starting to come together. My characters' voices are becoming more distinct. Their situation more dire. I'm actually making myself take a break right now so when I pick up tomorrow, I'll be able to carry over some of today's momentum. Considering how rotten I was feeling about trying to make this story work before, today 25,000 words feels like a miracle. Now only 55,000 to go... I think I can do it.

This book, if I can do it right, has the potential to be something really special. Could it be my 'big break?' Who knows. After my last tour of Queryland, I'm not getting my hopes up. However, I finally feel like a Writer again, which is no small feat. Even if this story only ends up being for me and a few people I choose to share it with, it's still definitely a Something.

So that's a good feeling. In honor of this nice big word count number and good feeling, therefore, click the link here to listen to one of the songs on my playlist for this novel. Not only does it reflect how I feel sometimes (especially with my writing), but it also captures the feelings of my protagonist really well. =)

Day #9070 - Onward!

Hey, you little blog of mine. Hey, you awesome readers. I've been neglecting you. Again. And I'm sorry, so here is me trying to make up for some lost time.

The last few weeks and months have been crazy for a lot reasons and in a lot of ways, most of which I am not going to share with Internet because A) not relevant and B) boundaries, people! What I can say is that at least the juices have been flowing when it comes to story ideas. Some of this has been great for output over on Stories by SaM, but a war was waging in my head between two bigger concepts that I've had for a while.

Unable to figure out which to pursue, I thought that especially since it's summer I could be ambitious and try both. What resulted was two outlines: one took me almost a week to get out, but I was less sure it was really right with each passing day. The second one I churned out in less than a day. It was six pages long and that wasn't even getting into detail. This goes along with the lists of characters I've had brewing along with a map I drew up.

Yeah, you heard me. A map. This is serious.

Needless to say, I'm going to give this story my full attention with the other one going into the proverbial drawer along with the others I've had over the years.

Now is the hard part: the actual writing it. I love and hate this part, which is pretty normal for writers. Having an outline and lists and maps is great, but I'm only a writer if I'm actually writing. So wish me luck as I venture into this one. It's a genre I've never considered writing before and an idea I never would have thought could have come out of my brain, but that fact excites me more than it scares me, which I hope is good.

Also on the calendar is the ALA Conference in Chicago Thursday thru Monday - if you will be there, let me know! I'd love to meet people =)

Day #9020 - Using My Words

Life keeps drumming along, and I'm equal parts happy and sad that I've been busy and haven't had quite as much time to write about it here. Happy because it means I'm doing other things, sad because I like documenting what's going on for fear that I will forget far too soon.

Now that the play I was an assistant director for at the high school is now over, my evenings have once again opened up. This includes going back to the gym (or at least thinking about it), writing, and author events. For the first time in what feels like forever, my writing has been making progress. Though it saddens me to put my fairy tale inspired project back on hold - it's simply not ready for me yet - this sci-fi thing makes me excited and I've had fun playing around with it and doing some world building. It now has its own composition notebook where I can keep all my thoughts together and I'm hoping to do some more outlining this weekend so more actual writing can happen very soon.

But unlike past projects, I don't want to do too much too fast. I think that's been my problem - I try to get ALL THE IDEAS down ALL AT ONCE and then I get into lulls. Luckily, thanks to the author event I went to at Andeson's this week, I think I've learned how to stop doing that.

Lauren Morrill, me,
& Lenore Applehans

Thursday night I headed to Naperville and got to meet the lovely Lenore Appelhans (Level 2, being rereleased as The Memory of After), Lauren Morrill (Meant to Be), and Lauren Oliver (Before I Fall, The Delirium Trilogy). They were all insightful, wonderful, and fantastic and it was a great little trip in the middle of the week because I haven't been to a signing in ages. I've written a review of Meant to Be over on my book review blog and if you love Shakespeare, England, and love stories with quirky nerdy girls, then this is the book for you! As for Level 2, I have it on my Nook and can't wait to jump into this action packed tale of the afterlife.

Me & Lauren Oliver

But back to the writing part. Lauren Oliver's writing method was what struck me perhaps the most: she's currently working on three books at the same time, and she says she is able to do this 1) because she has no other hobbies so she rewards herself on a good day of writing with more writing and 2) because unlike other writers I know/have heard of who set a minimum word count for the day, she sets a limit. If she's working on one book, she'll go for 1000-1500 words a day. If she's doing two books, she'll do 750 words in one, then 500 in the other. If it's like now when she's doing three, she writes less in two and is copy editing the third.

As soon as I heard this, it was like a light went off in my head - how brilliant, right? She says that way, she's not binging on words. Even if she's in the middle of a scene and wants to keep going, she knows she'll still feel that way tomorrow and it actually makes it easier to jump back in and keep momentum. Needless to say I love this and will be trying this out in my own life.

Another writing announcement I have is that my critique partner and I have started a short story blog as a means of helping us practice skills and play with new ideas. The site is called Stories by SaM and you can check it out at http://stayradish.wordpress.com. Since May is Short Story Month, we're each taking turns writing a story a day following the daily prompt posted on StoryADay.org. We're doing this blog style so we can get comments and feedback from people, so please don't be shy!

And that, dear Internet, is what's been going on lately. For the most part. Well, it's as much as I'm willing to share with the PUBLIC for now. And since I forgot to post this last week, here's my April favorites video for you all to enjoy!



Hope you all have a fantastic weekend =)

Day #9011 - Just Jump In, Already!

When I'm feeling stuck with my writing, I like to read about writing and seek out as much advice as I can on how to make it work.

Needless to say, I do a lot more reading about writing than actual writing these days. And it comes down to one simple reason: I'm terrified. I've had very little success on this journey in the grand scheme of things, and I do so much dreaming and have so many ideas but then when I do have time to face the page, everything comes out all wrong and awful and it SUCKS.

But enough of that crap. I'm sick of being scared, so I'm taking to my writing in the same way I've had to take on other aspects of my life in the last few months: just jump on in and hope to God I figure something out along the way.

It's actually all thanks to the authors I've been lucky enough to meet. Meg Cabot signed a book for me along with a card stating that I'm the world's best librarian and suggested to start small - make it your goal to write at least one page a day and if you do that, you'll have a 60,000/200 page manuscript in 6 months, maybe less. I met my critique partner at a Maggie Stiefvater signing where the author gave the advice to write the story you've always wanted to read but haven't found on a bookshelf.

But really, the debut authors are the ones who have gotten my butt in gear. I look at my signed copy of Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo and remember how excited she was to be on her first tour for her first book, how cool she was and supportive and how I left believing in myself. I remember Jen Bosworth, author of Struck, who had an idea that maybe others thought was wacky but she went with it and it was incredible. And they were both so nice to me, and it meant the world.

Which is why I finally feel ready to face my latest idea. There have been two ideas duking it out in my head for the last few months while I've been terrified. One is fun, contemporary, so completely me (or at least who I've always thought writing-me is/would be) and I started writing it last summer, got 100 pages in, got stuck, recently reread it and figured out what I need to change, except I still can't get it to work the way I want it to. I mean, I know first drafts are supposed to be shitty, but I can't even get enough to work on the page to even approach shitty.

All the while, there's been this other idea that is just so not me. It's science fiction-y, dystopian-but-not, delves into a lot of social and political issues and I can't believe this idea ever came out of me. I mean, this idea is so BIG and it terrifies me because I want to do it justice. I love that this weirdness came out of me, but can I make it work? I think this could be something different, special, or maybe just completely crazy. And I want to see where it goes, so I'm just going to jump in already and let that other idea incubate for a little while longer. I have no doubt it could work someday, it just needs more time to simmer. In the meantime, I have this THING that is just SO WEIRD that I need to see where it goes.

After all, if Leigh can turn the Darkness into a villain in a world with beauty and magic and passion and all the feels and Jen can have a girl who's addicted to getting struck by lightning stuck in a battle between two warring religious cults in the middle of the apocalypse, maybe my idea isn't so crazy. Maybe it would be right at home with these other ones and this is me finally finding a voice that will be heard.

So, on the count of three. 1...2...God help me 3!

Day #8908 - And Then it Began

It started with reading something on Twitter, which led to a blog post, which resulted in writing my first ever piece of fan fiction. And then just a few weeks later, it led to something that has felt so impossible for so long suddenly becoming very real.

So let me back up. On December 4th, YA author Lisa Burstein tweeted that she was sponsoring a contest in honor of her upcoming novel, Dear Cassie. I went over to her website, read more about it, and spent the month toying around with a few ideas and the prompt. Then finally on the very last day submissions could be sent in, the last day of the year, I threw a Hail Mary and emailed in my submission because, hey, what's the worst that could happen? Rejection? I've been a resident of Queryland for a while now, so I'm so used to that.

On January 7th, I found out my entry, a diary entry from the perspective of Doctor Who's Amy Pond, was a finalist. Voting would take place for a few days, and the finalist that got the most votes would get their story printed in the final copy of Dear Cassie.

And yesterday as I was about to shut down my computer at work and head home for a relaxing weekend, I decided to check my email one more time. And then it began. "Monica, Congratulations you won!"

To say I'm excited puts it mildly. This is what it feels like when something you dreamed of happening finally starts to unfold a little bit. I understand that it's one 750-word piece of fan fiction, but in just 52 days, I'll be able to walk into a bookstore, pick up a copy of Lisa's novel, flip to the back and see the words "By Monica Fumarolo" staring back at me. And that's nothing short of a miracle to me.

So I must of course thank my family and friends who have always stood by me. And there are the many people who took the time to vote for me, too - this wouldn't have happened if not for you. March 5th is the currently posted release date for  Dear Cassie and I cannot wait!

And since I'm also such a music nerd, you should know this is the song playing in my head since I got the news =)

Day #8862 - I'm a Winner!

In which I discuss doing my civic duty and writing a LOT of words in a short amount of time.

Day #8847 - NaNoWriMo Update

In which I talk about some of the ups and downs I'm feeling during my second year of participating in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month).

Day #8835 - An Update on The Writing Things!

While I've posted quite a few videos lately, I haven't said much on the blog in a while about the whole writing thing. Which, you know, is problematic when I claim that this is supposed to be a blog dedicated to my writing and life and things.

And so, time for an update!

Due to the total lack of response from my earlier post when I gave the Internet the POWER to tell me what to write, I've had to think for myself and am going with option number three: the story that started as a title and now I'm figuring it out. I've never had an idea come to me this way before, but hey, I'll take it. I've got my composition notebook with me, filling with summaries, scenes, characters, and the ever-important playlists, so hopefully awesome writing will be happening in the upcoming month.

Now, as some of you may know, November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and I actually did a post on it over at my other blog here. The short version is this: yes I signed up, no I don't actually think I'll get a 50,000 word first draft written over the next 30 days, yes I'm okay with that because even if I don't "win" at NaNoWriMo, it's okay because I know my writing and it just doesn't work like that. All that being said, I'm just hoping to use this month as a push to get me back into writing regularly. All the rejections (and rejections via no response) that I got this summer in Queryland got me down more than I like to admit. It's especially hard when I'm on QueryTracker.net and seeing people who 'first started sending queries on Monday and now four days later I already have an offer for representation!' - it hasn't been an easy road for me, but I still have hope and ideas so I have to believe some day, it will be my turn.

Which leads me to my final bit of news: I've returned to Queryland. I refuse to let this keep me down. Someone, somewhere will want my story. I just have to take the time to find them. Good things come to those who wait, right? Keep your fingers crossed for me, and if anyone out there knows of literary agents who are currently accepting submissions and particularly like contemporary YA, PLEASE TELL ME! =)

Day #8822 - Like vs. Love and Tell Me What to Write!

If I had to pick a Facebook relationship status for life with me and my writing ideas right now, it would be "It's Complicated."

And I hate that phrase. Because is it really so complicated? Yes, but no. Let's look at it in it's simplest form: I haven't written anything creatively for a while now. I'm stuck. I have had ideas, sure, but the three main ones dancing around in my head don't feel good enough. I like them, but I don't love them. With the first book I wrote, I LOVED it right from the very beginning. Even through the edits and rewrites and query process and rejections, I still LOVE that book. And though I'm still agentless (though I'm going to restart my search once I can find someone to help me with my query AGAIN even though it got really good responses from other writers during WriteOnCon) and that book only exists as a file on my computer and not as a book on the shelves at a library near you (yet!), I still love that book. The few I've let read it have generally liked it. I can't wait to have agents and editors and Publishing People go through it and potentially tear it apart because I love it, and I want it to be the best book it can be.

But then I think, I also loved my second manuscript. At least, I thought I did during the idea stage, and for a lot of the writing stage, too. But it didn't exactly last - it was NaNoWriMo and sprinting out a first draft like that is taxing and I knew it was hardly my best writing going on. I wanted to try the experience, but in the end, one month and 61,000 words later, I had a first draft that I hit "save" and have not looked at since December of last year.

So it makes me think, is loving it really necessary? Or does it just blind you to the fact that maybe it's not such a great idea after all? Does my love for my book cloud my ability to see that it's perhaps not so awesome, as shown by the fact that every rejection but one was a form rejection and I only got one request for a full which also ended in a form rejection? I say no, because that one request gave me hope.

But it still leaves me with time to write and fear that my ideas suck and are not worthy.

So here's my proposition: I'm leaving it up to the Internet. Below are three incredibly vague descriptions of the ideas floating around in my head and you guys tell me which one to work on. And whichever one gets the most, I'll start with that and we'll see how it goes. Ready? Ok!

-science-fiction/dystopian-ish idea in a The Giver or Never Let Me Go sort of way
-contemporary YA/new adult centering around two characters, a guy and a girl, who share a gender-neutral first name
-What I think would be a cute title in my head and other than that, I really don't have anything but I do know the protagonist likes swimming

So yeah. There they are. Let me know what you think! =)

Day #8774 - Sharing a Story

I claim that this blog is all about my writing life, though I never really have much to report on. Well, that's about to change. But only slightly.

On the one hand, I'll say that I haven't been doing much in the way of querying lately. I was feeling a little beaten down about the lack of movement there, so I decided a break might not be a terrible thing. Then earlier this week, Queryland became less dreadful, but I'm being superstitious and don't want to jinx things, so I can't say more than that quite yet.

Something I am more comfortable with sharing here is a story I just finished! I entered the Defy the Dark short story contest - the winner will have their story included in the upcoming Defy the Dark YA anthology. While it'd be awesome to get there, for me writing a short story was such a fun experience that I really enjoyed just giving it a shot. My entry (and all the others) can be read over at Figment.com, but here's a handy dandy link for you: =) I can tell you this story isn't quite like anything I've ever written before, and it was a great challenge to try something new. So yay!

That's it for me and my writing life this time. My other life as a librarian and employee at a high school is also in full gear now that the kids are back from their summer vacations. I can honestly say I missed them and it's good to be back. Never a dull moment, that's for sure!

Day #8751 - Short and Sweet

It's been a trying summer as far as my writing is concerned, readers. My agent search and time in Queryland continues to drudge on. At least on that front I seem to be developing quite a thick skin - form rejections aren't any more welcome in my inbox, but I'll still take them over the more uncertain policy that some agents take with a general 'no response means no' policy. 

Also, earlier this week I read a blog post by one agent (who yes, rejected me) who said that she is much less likely to request pages or sign new clients in the summer because her attention span is shorter and she'd rather be outside. Unless she is totally and completely wowed while the sun is shining and the weather is warm, it's an automatic form rejection. So naturally, I started to freak out. I've put a lot of time and hard work into my manuscript and the many, many drafts of my query letter and now I find out that I'm doing this at the wrong time of year? Not exactly the best feeling in the world.

My current WIP wasn't exactly a place of solace and escape from this defeated feeling, either. It's hard to write well when it feels like everyone and their assistant is telling you that you actually totally and completely suck. (Okay, none of them have actually said anything remotely close to that, but it can feel that way when they respond with indifference and tell you 'no thanks, not for me, but good luck!'.) Add that to the fact that I'm incredibly hard on myself with my writing in the first place and this is a first draft so of course it's really rough, and there was a lot of negativity in the room. If I were a cartoon, I'd be walking around with a little thought bubble declaring DOUBT over my head, pannel after pannel.

What I needed was a change. Something completely different. I get ideas for novels, but I find myself lately getting caught up in the little points that keep me from moving forward even though I try so hard to remember to just focus on the bigger picture the first draft around. So right now, I've turned to short stories.

Now I haven't written a short story in years. We're talking not since maybe junior high, and even that may be a generous estimation. I certainly haven't read any short stories since then, and those were usually more canonical ones. But I think it's well past time to reintroduce myself to this form of storytelling, starting shorter with the bare bones and still writing an effective piece and build myself up to longer word counts to build my confidence back up. After all, writing is like any other skill you want to master in this life - practice, practice, practice. I'm currently reading the YA story collection Up All Night featuring authors such as Libba Bray and David Levithan, and I'm hoping this will help me warm back up to this medium.

So that's my writing life as of late. If anyone out there knows of good (YA) short story anthologies or good websites where people can post stories and get feedback, please let me know in comments! I'd greatly appreciate it. Until then, back to work...

Day #8735 - The Write Spot

Location is just as important in reality as it is in your writing. It can be the thing that inspires long passages of incredible prose, bringing out thoughts and feelings that you can't even believe have been hiding within yourself this whole time, spilling words onto the page like a welcome rain storm.

Or it can be the very thing that cripples your efforts.

I'm finding that I need different things with each story I write. With my first manuscript, the one that I'm still agent searching for (no luck yet, but you'll hear it here first if that should ever change - keep your fingers crossed for me!), my writing spot was my bed. I have one of those sit-up pillows with arms, I perched myself on my bed by the window, and my story was born. For my second manuscript during NaNoWriMo last year, my spot was everywhere. I had a notebook that I made insane outlines in during my lunch breaks at work (or anywhere else when I found myself with a spare five minutes to think), and then I would come home and turn those notes into a story at my desk, 2000 words a night without fail.

But this time it's different. This time, when I sit on my bed or at my desk, my thoughts and those wonderful words I've been daydreaming about flee faster than a speeding bullet. And to put it plainly, it sucks. I want to write. I want to get this first draft of this WIP out of me so bad so I can go back and start revisions and tearing it apart again. But writing from home isn't working for me this time, so this afternoon, I grabbed my laptop and my notebook and I tried something else.

I found myself at the library of my earliest years. In a table in the back of the adult section, right next to a wall of windows and an electrical outlet, I was able to write more in two hours than I think I've been able to write in two weeks. It certainly wasn't Shakespeare by any stretch of the imagination, but it was progress nonetheless and so I welcome it just the same.

And this past weekend, I had some luck toying around with a sci-fi story idea that I've been kicking around since last fall but have putting off because I've been trying to work on other projects first. I was out at a park with my family and I started writing a background scene on my iPod touch, thoughts I've had for ages that I was finally able to get out without hesitation. And let me tell you, having two good writing days so close together feels Awesome.

So what's the moral of my story? Well, it's nothing revolutionary that you haven't heard before: if something's not working with your writing, don't be afraid of changing things up. No two stories or writers are alike - they may all require something different. And that's okay. Apparently for the time being, I can only write when I have outdoorsy things in sight that are not near my house. And maybe for the next book, I'll have to go some place else. We'll see.

And that, dear readers, are my thoughts today. To any fellow writers out there, I hope your WIPs and adventures in Queryland are going well. Let's stick together, friends. Someday, our words, agents, book deals, and publishing dates will come, but until then, keep on trying =)

Day #8717 - A New Approach

It's been a while since I've written here, so I thought I'd fill the Internet in on how my writing and all that sort of fun stuff has been going lately. In short, there's nothing to report on looking for an agent for my completed manuscript - believe me, if that changes, you'll probably be able to hear me cheering from the rooftops!

In the mean time, I have my current work in progress (or WIP for those of you who like to use the lingo) and I'm finding that I've had to go with a new approach for this story than I've had to for any of my others. It's this funny little thing called "research" - you've heard of it before. While all of my stories in the last few years, this one included, would definitely fall in the "contemporary YA", this one requires me to roll up my sleeves and dig into a little bit of history. I'm putting my skills as a librarian to use, searching for what isn't exactly obvious information. I've even had to go to a few public libraries and check out actual books to find what I'm looking for.

It can be tedious and tiresome and I absolutely love it! Taking the time to do my homework with this story gives it something extra. It has been helping me make the world I'm building and the situation my characters are in that much stronger. So this is something my previous stories didn't necessarily need, but this WIP does and already feel like it's better for it.

I hope that you're all keeping out of this crazy insane heat and enjoying your summers! Take care!

Day #8705 - Our Stories' Songs

While I have always loved books and the written word, I am also completely in love with music. I think the two actually go hand in hand. It's a different kind of writing to be sure, but both forms can move me in incredible ways and make me think. My appreciation for both also grew exponentially once I tried to learn it myself. I played the clarinet from 5th grade thru my senior year of college and I also play guitar (very slowly and with much room for improvement).

Music says the things I often don't know how to say, but that's why I try to use it as a tool to help me when I'm learning to write (because even if I do ever get published, I'm convinced that you never really stop learning how to do this). It should come as no surprise that I'm a huge fan of authors who let readers know what their "playlist" was - it's like a bonus feature, a companion to the story I've just gotten to experience, and it helps give me insight to a scene or the feeling an author was working to instill.

Plus, it oftentimes lets me know about great artists I may not have otherwise heard of. And I LOVE that. I especially love finding out about a musician and falling in love with their music before they're popular - it's one of those rare times when I feel like the trend setter =)

I've been finding that my playlists come together with my stories before, during, and after drafting. I may hear a song that sparks the idea for a story. I may be writing and want to capture that chord progression's feeling into the tone I'm trying to set. I may be editing and realize I want the dialogue exchange to bounce along the way that chorus does in a song I heard. Most recently, I added a song to my list because even though one story of mine is "done," I had to laugh because the lyrics perfectly fit with a situation my characters are in.

So sometimes songs tell us stories, but just as often I feel like our stories come from songs.

A few nights ago, I got to finally see my favorite musician, Eric Hutchinson, in concert, and it stirred up my very strong feelings on this topic. It was one of those shows where I kept pinching myself that I was actually there and singing and dancing along. His songs about situations that suck even make you smile, and that's something I love (and also hope my stories do something similar). And so today I thought I'd share the "playlist" for the manuscript I'm trying to find an agent for now. Maybe someday if I ever find representation and it gets sold and published and all that fun stuff, I'll share the reasons behind these picks (or maybe you'll see where they fit in when you read it!), but for now, just enjoy!

1. I'm Only Me When I'm With You - Taylor Swift
2. You Lie - The Band Perry
3. Over My Head - The Fray
4. Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) - Kelly Clarkson
5. Irrational Anthem - Plain White T's
6. It's Only Life - Kate Voegele
7. Sound of Your Voice - Barenaked Ladies
8. Here Comes the Sun - The Beatles
9. Rock & Roll - Eric Hutchinson
10. Annie Waits - Ben Folds
*Bonus!* Watching You Watch Him - Eric Hutchinson

Day 38692 - The Metaphorical Drawer

Sometimes people are lucky enough to get blessed with a story idea that is intricate and interesting and really has the potential to be something amazing. It could start out small and then grow in beautiful ways or maybe the idea comes to you full blown and you're more like a recorder, translating it from the movie screen in your head to the page in front of you.

And other times you get a story that's really good and you love the characters and the setting is something you really enjoy and the situation is interesting, but even though all the individual parts have amazing potential, when you try to put them all together, something's just not working and try as you might, you can't figure out where exactly it went weird or what you need to do to get things back on track.

Then, perhaps, the time has come to stick the project in the metaphorical drawer for a while.

This is the case I now find myself in. For the last several months I have been working on a story that I still believe has great potential, but for one reason or another, it's just not coming out right. I can see it in my head, but things are just off. So, it's drawer time for this one. I'm not giving up on it, or deleting it, or throwing it out and sulking about how much time I've wasted because that's just not true. It wasn't a waste, it was practice, and maybe someday I'll look at it again with fresh eyes and be able to breathe new life into that particular idea.

Sometimes, that's just the way it goes. In the meantime, I have a story that's been working its way up to the front of my head, demanding to be heard. I've spent a lot of time already "on the side" from my other story world building and getting to know the characters, and now they will have their chance to make the page and make themselves known to me. I'm excited, and hopefully this one will be a good experience too.

Day #8679 - Ode to Being an Amateur

In her commencement address to the University of Illinois graduating class of 2012, Cokie Roberts made the outstanding point that when people go around boasting that they are not professionals, it's actually doing a disservice to and diminishing the profession. Her examples were good ones - you certainly want a professional doctor helping you when you're sick, and if you're on a plane, you want a professional pilot flying it.

But there are some situations where I think there is a little something to be said for being an amateur. At least, there's no need to freak out or be weary if you are "just an amateur writer."

In the face of a growing number of rejection letters, uncertainty about the summer to come, and rising doubts about my writing and how to make my current story project perk up, I turned to one of my favorite books of all time, The Element by Sir Ken Robinson (click on the link to read the review I did of it on my book blog which continues to be my most popular post I have ever written). In short, the book is all about the importance of finding something you are passionate about, encouraging creativity, and how our current education system in the US stifles that which cannot be measured on standardized tests. Anyway, I was flipping through and rereading the portions I'd highlighted when I blissfully saw this passage:

The word amateur derives from the Latin word amator, which means lover, devoted friend, or someone who is in avid pursuit of an objective. In the original sense, an amateur is someone who does something for the love of it. Amateurs do what they do because they have a passion for it, not because it pays the bills. -The Element, pg. 210

I LOVE this sentiment, I do, and I could not have read it at a better time.

Would finding an agent and getting the manuscript I've worked so hard on for so long and completely believe in be awesome? Yes.

Would it be an amazing thrill for it to get published someday? Of course.

Is that the point of it all? Well, no. It's not. Not really. And that's the great part of me being an amateur. I write my stories because I love to do it, no other reason. I write because there are these fantastic characters bumbling around in my head and I want to get them down on paper so others can know them too. Am I the best at it? No, because I'm an amateur. I'm practicing, I'm trying, and every day that I at least sit down at the computer or with a pen and paper is a step in the right direction, no matter how small. I'm not saying the rejection is fun or that the current massive cases of writers block (really more like writers doubt) I've been pushing through have been easy, but I keep on trying without the pressure of deadlines or the expectations of trying to avoid the sophomore slump. Those come later and are self-imposed, but it all comes down to doing what I love simply because I love to do it, and for now, I'm good with that.

Day #8607 - Happy Unniversary

First off, Happy Saint Patrick's Day! My Irish ancestors would be remissed if I didn't start right off the back with that. I'm sporting green and my pale skin with pride today. Corned beef will be coming later.

Anyway, I've actually been looking forward to today for another reason. March 17th in my mind has been a date one year in the making. It was, to me, the date that I could start calling myself a writer because it was the day I started writing in my journal and have written an entry every day since.

Now this was not my first time in my life trying to keep a journal. I have quite a nice collection of carefully selected notebooks that, if all goes to plan, NO ONE WILL EVER READ.

My first ever journal is not among these. It was from junior high and upon reading it a few years later in high school, I was so mortified by my former self that I ripped all the pages out and threw them away. Not to say that some of the thoughts in the ones I've kept are gems either. The earliest on the far left has sporadic entries from my freshman year of high school, then the pink one has random acts of high school and college. Next, the brown one was specifically for my summer studying abroad in Italy. Then the green one, a college graduation gift from my aunt, was one the one that got me in the habit of writing at least once a week again. That is, until March 17, 2011 when I then managed to start writing every single day, even if just a sentence proclaiming that I'm not dead yet.

So today was supposed to be my anniversary and a cause for celebration. Except for one tiny detail.

Upon double checking, I learned it was actually March 7th, not the 17th.  Oops!

Honestly, I'm a little bummed I missed it, but at the same I think it's a good thing that I did. I think it shows that writing has become such a part of me that it goes without saying, that it is as much a part of me as eating and breathing and all those other things we need to do to live. And now I really feel like a writer because I have done A LOT of writing in the past year in a lot of ways and forms, and my only wish is that I'd found this wonderful thing sooner.

In other writing news, I think Summer Project from last year is finally in a position where I'm comfortable with sending out query letters about it to agents and whatnot. So if you happen to be reading this, keep your fingers crossed for me, eh?

So there's a lot to be thinking about on this sunny Saturday in March. Happy Saint Patrick's Day, Happy Unniversary, and just think happy thoughts!